Tuesday, November 18, 2008

To Do? Life!


Study. Workout. Call (insert name). Write (insert name). Eat (insert healthier foods). Smile. Brush teeth. Apply for Grad School. Write book. Sleep. Stop eating. Better tomorrow.

Stop. 

Study. Workout. Call (insert name). Write (insert name). Eat...don't eat. Write book. Grad school? Whiten teeth. Ministry Team. (insert org) Meeting. 

Stop. 

Recycle, Recycle thoughts, recycle onto yet another doomed piece of paper. Monotony. Check Check Check. Cross Cross Cross. Sleep. Repeat.  

Stop. 

My life is a great monument of post-it notes. Pile them up in an enticing, technicolor sculpture. Let them stick, stick, stick. Indefinitely. Immobilizing. Paralyzing. Don't let one fall! They are arranged perfectly, a rainbow of neon accomplishments. DON'T TOUCH! Burry me as the silent, unmoving post-it note statue that still has more to do.

STOP NOW!

I don't wanna die! I haven't yet lived! I reach through and painfully rip off one from my eyes. I can still see that there is a light out there. I tear yet another from my mouth. Is that real air I am breathing? 

A To Do list is not a map to fulfillment. Treasure is not located at the bottom of it. The check-marks do not gain you more points towards understanding, success, perfection. The day-planner does not contain freedom. The palm-pilot does not provide the path to happiness.  

The post-its cages me in. The To-Do List equally thrills and kills me. I need to feel in control of my life. Organized. Successful. Yet I lose focus when I am enslaved to a 3x3 inch neon colored piece of paper. Since when did I stop controlling it? Since when did it start controlling me?

My miniature idols lose their glory as I realize: God measures us by who we are, not by what we do. Conversely, we do not find fulfillment in what we do, but by who God makes us to be. God wants our holiness more than our happiness. Conversely, holiness reshapes the very essence of happiness. 

I want to be present in my life. I want God to make me holy. How in the world is he going to do that if I am living vicariously through my post-notes?

Do not worry about tomorrow for tomorrow will worry about itself. 


What is on my To Do list now? 
  1. Throw away my post-it notes.
  2. Live. 









9 comments:

Ashley said...

good one. God want our holiness more than our happiness. I'm likin that. Love you girl! Keep challenging yourself and others....I hope I get to talk to you soon!
love you,
Ash

Doug Brown said...

Sounds Like You Need a Blackberry.

Heidi Michelle Williams said...

Jillian Pierce, I just thought I should say that when we have our kiddo date, we should also have a post it note burning ceremony.

:)

Walt Pierce said...

Hey, Sweetie Pie,

Sounds to me like you are ready for the Christmas holiday. Me too. See ya there.

Grandpa Pierce

Anonymous said...

Hello dear,

I needed to read this post. You inspire me! And I love you O-SO-MUCH!!! I can't wait to see your beautiful face...

All my love,
Jenna

Jennifer said...

Hey Jillian Jiggs,
Take time for yourself, very important! Love you,
Jen

J.S. said...

constructive work of words.

i have a question for you, Jillian Pierce:

what is holiness?

Stephanie said...

Except we're still not living.
DECEMBER 12TH, BABY!

J.S. said...

Just kidding.

But seriously, when you write "... be holy while still living in a world full of s*** thing..." are you referring to s*** in your own life (i.e., heart) or in the midst of s*** around you (i.e., your environment)?

When you say separate do you mean separate or do you mean different? I think there may be a significant distinction between separate and different.

Your blog posts seem to be very focused on love. Are you familiar at all with John Wesley's thoughts on God's holiness (the core of who He is, that which sets him apart) and unadulterated, True Love being one and the same?

I appreciate your briefly stated recognition on our need for God in the midst of suffering versus the rejection of Him.

p.s.- I didn't know if I should write out the whole word of crap's synonym: I do not wish to offend anyone.