When I was little I used to think that Pink was the ultimate door to perfection. Anything pink made me a princess. Pink could send you to the moon. Pink made things look, smell, feel, sound, and taste better. The color pink gave or elevated any object's worth. Pink was my childhood juju.
For instance, I always wanted the pink gum ball at the machines. I would waste quarter after quarter trying to get the pink gum ball. I was convinced the other colors did not taste nearly as delicious. I devised different rituals to ensure I would get the pink one. I would spin around in circles, jump up and down 2.5 times, stomp 4 times, and kiss the quarter for a perfect delivery. (Okay, maybe not quite that exotic but you get the idea). Unfortunately, most times I didn't get the pink gum ball. Usually I got stuck with the other dopey colors. It is a traumatic experience, let me tell you.
Of course then there was safety town- abounding with Smokey the Bear, stickers, and a fake town that you ride around in a rainbow array of tricycles. Everything was going great until they let us loose on the tricycles. I soon realized on the first day that there was only ONE pink tricycle. ONE!!!! Are they crazy?? What are they thinking? Everyday of safety town my new mission was to get that pink tricycle. Okay this is where the obsession bit comes in, but I prefer to look at it as driven. I don't think I actually learned anything in safety town because I spent the whole day devising ways to win the pink tricycle. I was convinced nothing would stop me. I RAN every day, saddle shoes to the pavement, shoving other kids nonchalantly on the way, to achieve my mission. Day after day, my mission failed. At least my pink fantasies, Mr. Tricycle and Mr. Gum Ball, could be friends in their continued defeat.
In my nineteen year old life, I have come across many different colored gum balls and tricycles in search for the pink one. I mean, in a more literal sense, I have searched for the best thing, the right thing, the pink tricycle or gum ball so to speak.
In recent weeks, I have realized the rules have changed. They are even more complicated. Many times, I have thought I arrived at the pink in victory, only to realize that the pink wasn't real. Gum balls and tricycles decked out in camouflage to get me to next step in my journey for the real pink.
It is disappointing, you know? It hurts to separate from that which I have come to love. It is painful to break off another relationship that I thought might be IT. It pangs me to leave a church that I came to love so much. It aches to withdraw so suddenly from the closest people to me. Maybe it stings more to separate from the idea that I finally found the pink.
God has taught me that he doesn't want us to find the pink right away. We need to learn from the other colors he puts into our lives. He wants us to live by faith that he will get us there. When God separates us from something we come to love, it isn't because he doesn't love us. He just knows that what we love isn't really pink, even though our own eyes deceive us. We spit out our gum and step away from our tricycle.
I am a little girl, waiting at the gum ball machine, running toward the tricycles at safety town. I can feel my hand in my Daddy's hand, waiting and running, together. I imagine after quite a bit of blues and greens and yellows and reds and oranges, I finally get to ride the Pink Tricycle. There will be a Pink Gum Ball in the basket.
3 comments:
Jilly Bean. This is your best article yet. I know exactly how you feel, sometimes in life The pink tricyle is the prettiest but not the best for YOU. Disappointing, yes. But hopefully we can open our minds and discover an ever expanding spectrum beyond our imagination. This is what God wants for us, the story of your life should, could be.. "Jillian E. Pierce- Beyond Pink" :)
Uh, Sweetie Pie,
What's with the "Jumping up & down 2.5 times and stamping your feet 4 times"? That's not it! How did I ever let you get so mixed up? It's simply turn three turns to the left and hop back twice. Now you know. Remember you heard it here first. May all your gumballs and tricycles be pink. I love you.
Grandpa Pierce
Well written.
What are we called to?
Should we earnestly seek the pink to have or seek the pink to be? If we seek the pink to have, will we ever obtain it? If we seek the pink to be, will we then have the pink?
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